I was sitting across from my old friend (the one I detest) at a table in a mall. We were chatting, perhaps catching up. Then she started to mention a guy that we used to know (the name was no one I knew, but I suppose he represented someone else) that was tied to my 'craziness'. I just stared at her as I didn't know what else to do. I've put that behind me and I couldn't believe that she was bringing it back up and trying to drag me back into that life. She was going on about this guy and I just kept thinking, "You know that none of that was real, so why are you still attached to it?" but I'm not sure if I said anything. Then, without warning, she either disappeared or became invisible. I called out her name but nothing happened. At this point I may have gained some consciousness as I started to think to myself. I realised that I'd never be able to count on anyone and that people would always disappear. Then somehow I felt your embrace and thought of you. Almost felt like you were a ~presence~. I think I told myself/realised that you would be there, which seems like quite a statement to make. Meaningful dream, for sure.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
dream
I was walking back to work from lunch and all of a sudden people starting running inside, so I ran after them. Then when I got back in everyone was standing up and attentively looking at the TV waiting for something, I just got on my pc and started looking up stuff and everyone got mad, like 'wtf' and I just said that I don't care about whatever happened, because it never affects me. Then the TV said something about some nuclear explosion in nevada which is going to send shocks everywhere. Ten seconds later the building shook and the lights went out and I crashed down thinking I died, felt dying/falling asleep. Then I woke up and was okay and just laid there listening to the building getting slammed by wind, it was serious. Building I was in only was holding up because it was designed better (for security, though it isn't really). So I thought I would end up dying and then my though was OMG I GOTTA TEXT LAURA, and I got out my phone and texted I LOVE YOU and then my dream ended. I think that was the best part of the dream. Woke up and loved that, cause it felt 100% real. Also, I didn't think about cell phone not working in that situation + I had feeling that it was only florida getting the earthquake etc, but really it would have been all of USA. Anyway, nightmare turned into an awesome dream cause you were in it.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
dream
I had a scary dream! I was some kind of a song writer or something, and I was sitting there and traveling back in time, and some woman there kept seeing me travel back in time so she started believing in time travel. Then I was getting convinced to kill myself through some voices, and I could tell she was doing it to so that we could 'be together finally'. I wasn't me either, so it's not a cheat-dream. In the dream pulling all my teeth out was same as killing myself. So I killed myself and then I began to look for my previous songs that would make me think it's a good idea that I killed myself. Cause it sucked to have no teeth. Crazy dream.
The one after it was better, I was in a hotel with you and there was another couple there and we were doing like a groupthing, but pretty quickly me & you got off the bed to our own thing and did it. Twice too and it very graphical + realistic. Felt good. Almost sure I had a rxn when it was happening.
The one after it was better, I was in a hotel with you and there was another couple there and we were doing like a groupthing, but pretty quickly me & you got off the bed to our own thing and did it. Twice too and it very graphical + realistic. Felt good. Almost sure I had a rxn when it was happening.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Dream
Had another insecurity dream. Wasn't even a dream but like a ~feeling~. Was for some reason feeling like you had some undefined relationship w/ some guy that you were not telling me about, just alluding 2 it. Like you were living with someone or went over some guy's house every once in a while but wouldn't really talk about it. I was waking up and panicking and stuff. Then I woke up and knew that you were definitely 100% with me and then I saw your facebook message and thought it was the best timing. Sux that my dreams are insecure.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
dream
I was dreaming that I was talking to you and kept asking about this guy who you went to see every day. I was getting super hurt & jealous that you guys were 'doing it'. I think the feelings weren't just in the dream, but real feelings, I don't know. I kept asking about it and you were vague. Then you were in your bathtub and I was looking at stuff and you said that you'll come out of the bath in a second and come over through the screen or something, I got excited that we could do that and wondered why we didn't do it before, then when you got out and were still wet & naked I jumped through the screen and went to hug you, you were mad. The dream ended eventually and became about some auction of soviet heavy machinery, burons & huge army trucks and stuff.
Friday, July 22, 2011
i can't place anything in order, but here's what i remember.
we were going from hotel to hotel. there was some dream unrelated to you from before that had to do with my manager letting me go into his house, and also one about being downtown in some city. so, we were @ some hotel and we left. we wanted privacy, because i guess some people could see us? i made sure to take all of my stuff out of the dressers and we found a new room. then i went back for some reason later and found a ton of my clothing that i'd left behind :(
when we went to the new room, you said it might not be the best idea because my manager was staying near it, but i didn't see the problem.
i've since lost the transition to this, but the next thing i can recall is that we were doing ~intimate~ things. you were on top of me and we were kissing. you didn't have anything on, i had some clothing on, but i guess it disappeared, because then we were "practicing" what it would be like. we didn't technically do anything but i was worried that i would get pregnant*. you had me touch you and i think you touched my chest. for some reason my dream was very vivid in that i could really make out 'details'. every time i touched you, you said i had to go higher and then you'd laugh b/c i did it wrong. the third time, you laughed and fell off me. i was upset because i didn't know how to go any higher!!
*when i woke up i was relieved that it wasn't real b/c i was seriously scared about getting pregnant. why didn't i say anything when it was happening, though :/
we were going from hotel to hotel. there was some dream unrelated to you from before that had to do with my manager letting me go into his house, and also one about being downtown in some city. so, we were @ some hotel and we left. we wanted privacy, because i guess some people could see us? i made sure to take all of my stuff out of the dressers and we found a new room. then i went back for some reason later and found a ton of my clothing that i'd left behind :(
when we went to the new room, you said it might not be the best idea because my manager was staying near it, but i didn't see the problem.
i've since lost the transition to this, but the next thing i can recall is that we were doing ~intimate~ things. you were on top of me and we were kissing. you didn't have anything on, i had some clothing on, but i guess it disappeared, because then we were "practicing" what it would be like. we didn't technically do anything but i was worried that i would get pregnant*. you had me touch you and i think you touched my chest. for some reason my dream was very vivid in that i could really make out 'details'. every time i touched you, you said i had to go higher and then you'd laugh b/c i did it wrong. the third time, you laughed and fell off me. i was upset because i didn't know how to go any higher!!
*when i woke up i was relieved that it wasn't real b/c i was seriously scared about getting pregnant. why didn't i say anything when it was happening, though :/
Monday, July 18, 2011
so many dreams about you, but i recall little.
i remember being in my room and us doing intimate things. you had on white underwear. i remember trying to see if i could spot anything. either my dad came home and was in his room, or we discovered that he'd been there the entire time. i'm not sure what happened after that. but i know i wanted to continue what i'd been doing before but obviously had some misgivings.
another was that you had come out to visit. i believe this dream happened before the others so i remember only that. i think there was something about me working at b&bw. i think i didn't want you to leave. we ran out of time?
another dream was that some guy was following me as i tried to go into this apt. complex/dorm i lived in. it turned into a dept. store. i ended up looking at wedding dresses so he wouldn't find me. i was glad you'd never know i was looking at them. as i was doing this, a fat, black girl in a wheelchair came over with an attendant/nurse. she started yelling @ both of us to hand over one of the dresses (oddly enough, none of them were white) and i just ignored her. she became irate and one of us escalated it. by the way, it was obvious somehow that she was in her condition because of some virus, or some cause that wasn't her fault. so it was ~scandalous~ (and funny) when i yelled @ her that she became that way b/c she was born on a fat farm. then i apologised and explained to her that she needed to learn the value of please & thank you. she wheeled away after that.
last dream, which may have come after, was being in the car with some male, my mother, and a girl i went to high school with. she was herself but i think she also represented laura. she was asking me about you (which made it awkward). she asked something about how we were doing or whatever and who knows what i said. all i remember her asking was, "so, how do you feel about him liking you that much?: as if everyone knew, as if it was a huge, unbelievable amount of affection you held for me. i answered with, "it's insane".
i remember being in my room and us doing intimate things. you had on white underwear. i remember trying to see if i could spot anything. either my dad came home and was in his room, or we discovered that he'd been there the entire time. i'm not sure what happened after that. but i know i wanted to continue what i'd been doing before but obviously had some misgivings.
another was that you had come out to visit. i believe this dream happened before the others so i remember only that. i think there was something about me working at b&bw. i think i didn't want you to leave. we ran out of time?
another dream was that some guy was following me as i tried to go into this apt. complex/dorm i lived in. it turned into a dept. store. i ended up looking at wedding dresses so he wouldn't find me. i was glad you'd never know i was looking at them. as i was doing this, a fat, black girl in a wheelchair came over with an attendant/nurse. she started yelling @ both of us to hand over one of the dresses (oddly enough, none of them were white) and i just ignored her. she became irate and one of us escalated it. by the way, it was obvious somehow that she was in her condition because of some virus, or some cause that wasn't her fault. so it was ~scandalous~ (and funny) when i yelled @ her that she became that way b/c she was born on a fat farm. then i apologised and explained to her that she needed to learn the value of please & thank you. she wheeled away after that.
last dream, which may have come after, was being in the car with some male, my mother, and a girl i went to high school with. she was herself but i think she also represented laura. she was asking me about you (which made it awkward). she asked something about how we were doing or whatever and who knows what i said. all i remember her asking was, "so, how do you feel about him liking you that much?: as if everyone knew, as if it was a huge, unbelievable amount of affection you held for me. i answered with, "it's insane".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)